Fear of Swimming

by Kirsten Opstad

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about

Recorded November 1-9th at Interstellar Studios. Produced with the support of fans, friends, and family via Kickstarter. Title track written and recorded for the film Rolled, directed by Whit Scott.

credits

released 10 January 2012

All songs written & performed by Kirsten Opstad
Recorded, mixed, and produced by Jon Crawford at Interstellar Studios
Mastered by Mike Burke at Specialized Mastering
Artwork by Stephanie Cluggish
Graphic Design by Jess Sutich


Kirsten Optad on guitar, vocals, bells, whistles, and bass on Hurry Up
Jon Crawford on drums & percussion
Katy Crawford on bass
Wyman Reese on keys

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Track Name: Magic Eye
Dressing up in lovers’ clothes
Candid pictures, always posed
These plastic plants will never grow
We’re not in love I hope you know

This shouldn’t come as a surprise
Some people can’t be hypnotized
Swinging clocks lead willing eyes
You’re not in love you’re mesmerized

Your nighttime sky is filled with twins and bears and lions
When I look up I just see light

Everything you see’s a sign
We both prefer liquor to wine
Coincidence preserved in brine
We’re not in love we’re killing time

I tell you this by accident
It used to be my one secret
Now that you know you won’t forget
We’re not in love we’re playing it

Never seen the pictures in the Magic Eye
Though I’ll die cross-eyed trying
Track Name: Better than you are
Imagine you’re an inventor
Build machines to fulfill all our needs so we
Don’t have to bother with breathing or eating
Or saying things we mean

Learn things without reading
Make friends without saying our names
We could call each other by number, I wonder
Would counting feel the same?

Say it once, it’s real
Granite slabs and steel
Assemble how you feel
And watch it fall

Imagine you’re hotel room
With thick covers and mints
Strangers sleep inside you and tear through
Leave everything a mess

They check out in a hurry
Slip the key in the sleeve
Housekeeping comes at two, made brand new
Every time they leave

Say it once, it’s real
Restock what they steal
Compose the way you feel
And watch them go

And I learned early on that it’s better to let on
That you’re better than you are
Yeah, I learned early on that it’s better to let on
That you’re better than you are

Imagine that you’re a father
Not the one that you had, but
One that eats at the table, who’s stable
And never gets mad

Try to shelter your children
From the world of men
Teach your daughters ‘bout numbers and letters
And counting to ten

Teach them once, it’s real
Make that skin like steel
Temper how you feel
And watch them grow

Cause I learned early on that it’s better to let on
That you’re better than you are
Yeah, I learned early on that it’s better to let on
That you’re better than you are
I learned early on
I learned early on
I learned early on
Yeah, I learned early on that it’s better to let on
That you’re better than you are
Track Name: Sleeping with Strangers
While you sleep fast and deep
All the secrets you keep
Are revealed to the lover on guard
Whisper mysterious somethings
Listen and wait for the morning

Shaken awake, only give never take
While the girl you just met sleeps nearby
You cannot remember her name
And all these poor girls sleep the same

Oh the lower I sink
The harder I row
And the more that we drink
The farther we go
What a desperately meaningless show
To sleep with someone you don’t know

Sickly and sweet, stale perfume on my sheets
Leaves proof that it happened at all
I’ve got bruises in all the right places
But I see you in all of their faces

Oh the lower I sink
The harder I row
And the more that we drink
The farther we go
What a desperately meaningless show
To sleep with someone you don’t know

Standing in line killing pain, wasting time
I tell you that I’m doing fine
Standing in line killing pain, wasting time
I tell you you’re not on my mind
Standing in line killing pain, wasting time
And I’m desperate for meaning tonight
Standing in line killing pain, wasting time
I tell you that I’m doing fine
I tell you that I’m doing fine
I tell you that I’m doing fine
Track Name: Unkeepable Oath
I’ll fashion you a coat of armor
Of clothes that I no longer wear
And I’ll wrap it ‘round your arms
So no man can do you harm
And if one does I’ll kill him like a bear

I will brew you an elixir
Steep the truest words I know
Once swallowed you will glean
What people really mean
And I will cut the liars in the throat

I will fire you a weapon
Metaled by the sharpened pain
Blade in hand you’ll slay
The demons in your way
And I will brand their bodies with our name

I swear by the God and cloudless sky
I will protect you till I die
Track Name: Fear of Swimming
I hope you’re not hiding purposely
Why wouldn’t you want to be seen by me?
Where did everybody go?
I’d rather not be here alone
It’s still too early to go home

I hope my friends are asleep right now
Alone in their own beds with the lights turned out
Having dreams that feature me
Swinging heroically from trees
Hanging out like we should be

There’s a sea between them and me
And I’m afraid of swimming

I hope that I didn’t miss the bus
I woke up too late, so I’m in a rush
I run though my shoes are still untied
Cold cause my jacket’s still inside
And I all I wanted was a ride

There’s a sea between them and me
And I’m afraid of swimming

I hope that I find the guts to cross
The body of water separating us
And brave the current that’s inside
See we can out swim any tide
Realize my friends are by my side

And I know I won’t drown
In any ocean, strait, or sound
As long as you’re around me
Track Name: Safe & Steady
Broken wings and an audible heartbeat
Weak but living, I plucked you from the street

Cradled hands, safe and steady stepping
Focused on forgetting all I know of death

Cotton ears, still hear the doorbell tolling
Still see our plaster molding, feel the carpet ‘neath my knees

I won’t let you die in this living room
I won’t let you die in this living room
I’ll fashion you a home
A shoebox of your own
Wish I weren’t home alone

I am young but I feel it coming
The low and distant drumming, marching on my chest

I won’t let you die in this living room
I won’t let you die in this living room
I’m keeping you alive
Though you may never fly
No, you’ll never fly again
Track Name: Blankets
Break out the blankets, my hands are getting cold
The sun’s been going down since 3pm
Don’t need the present, I prefer what’s old
And I’ll sleep until the seasons change again
Keep my deepest secrets from my friends

And find rest in darkness
That harmless night
Take shelter in shadow
Hide from light

I can’t remember stories I once knew
So I’m interviewing everyone I know
‘Bout last December, the last time I saw you
‘Fore I buried all my memories in the snow
When I realized that I liked being alone

And find rest in darkness
That harmless night
Take shelter in shadow
Hide from light

And the patient waits for his ills to die
Patient, waits for his ills to do
Hold real still and control your eyes
Hold real still and control your eyes

And find rest in darkness
That harmless night
Take shelter in shadow
Hide from light
Track Name: Stay Awake
I am getting sick, I can feel it in my throat
And we are getting older though we tried to take it slow
And I can make a guess, but I will never know,
Never know

If the fire in my chest if either love or respiratory
Basing all my choices on what makes a better story
And call it what you like, this life is never boring

Cosmetic cigarettes, let’s grow this smoker’s lung
Here’s to growin’ up too young, yeah
Growin’ up too young

I can’t control my legs, yeah they run without consent
And I can’t afford this place, cause they don’t control the rent
And I read every note you wrote, still I don’t know what you meant,
What you meant

I got pictures of my folks underneath my mattress
I won’t forget her face like I forget our address
And homes a painted plate, now all I taste is ashes

Rent checks and cigarettes, let’s grow this smoker’s lung
Here’s to growin’ up too young, yeah
Growin’ up too young

And you’ve got too much on your mind
You’d live if you had time
Don’t save my place in line, don’t save my place
And run in bare feet beneath street lights
Don’t go down without a fight
Let’s stay awake all night, let’s stay awake
And you’ve got too much on your mind
You’d live if you had time
Let’s stay awake all night, let’s stay awake
Track Name: Fight or Flight
Sorry that I left you, it was so hot inside your bedroom
Still sleeping there, new bad news, I flew
Cause when I feel it comin’ I instinctively start runnin’
Thanks for the rush of adrenaline, my friend

Bated breath and pounding chests
Eyes wide and muscles tight
No it isn’t love, it’s fight or flight

When charged with charming tactics, my affection’s automatic
Call it a born-again-romantic’s mistake
And if I do not fight it, I’ll fall in love on autopilot
Fold me a plane and watch me fly it away

Bated breath and pounding chests
Eyes wide and muscles tight
No it isn’t love, it’s fight or flight

Blame it on my chemistry
You won’t get what you want from me
Happier alone and free
They can’t take that away from me

Bated breath and pounding chests
Eyes wide and muscles tight
No it isn’t love,
I’m sure it isn’t love,
You better thank the stars above,
It’s fight or flight
Track Name: Hurry Up
I was born with honest eyes
I couldn’t tell the whitest lies
And I’d blow our cover all the time

And you were old and you were wise
You’d seen nineteen eighty five
And if you were home, things were fine

With the straightest face
I’d believe everything you’d say
You’re royal family would return for you someday

And the monsters neath my bed said not to worry
Hurry up and sleep before you see real scary things

And in my favorite game
We’d make like we were runaways
Strong willed orphans in a strange place

The brown carpet was our stage
Where we’d laugh with careless rage
Waging war to act our age

And the monsters neath my bed said not to worry
Hurry up and sleep I will protect you while you dream

Parents raised us right
Broken doors and screaming fights
Just say I love you, cut the lights

And you were my only friend
Though you terrorized me
And when things got really dark
Yours was the hand to guide me

And the monsters neath my bed said not to worry
Hurry up and sleep, I’ll try not to wake you when you leave
Hurry up and sleep, cause only time can set you free
Hurry up and sleep, while you still believe in me
Track Name: Back to Sleep
Baby please go back to sleep
It’s only me, I did not mean to wake you
I’ll let you get back to that dream
It’s just you and me, no one else can get through

It’s been a long, long day
I wish that we could laugh this one away

Let’s get you back on your feet
It’s been a week, I’m beginning to worry
Walk with me down our old street
You need the sun, I can see through your skin

It’s been a long, long year
Forgotten the reasons we came here

And I can’t sleep
Knowing you’re out there without me
And I can’t move
Knowing that you’re moving on

Baby please go back to sleep
It’s only me, I did not mean to wake you

And everything will be all right
Go to sleep
Say goodnight
Go to sleep
Close your eyes